I heard a tale of a running man
Who lives in the land of Hyrule
He loves a challenge; races anyone he can
But if you think you can beat him, you're a fool!

So call me the biggest fool there is
Fore I set out to find this man
I was determined to take that title of his
And become known as the fastest in the land

I found this man in the 'thieves hideout'
I looked him over from head to toe
I asked, "Are you the man I been hearin' about?"
"Are you the fastest, I need to know!''

"I have travelled a very long way, you see
To challenge you to a race,"
I asked, " Do you accept this challenge from me?"
And a grin spread across his face

He said, " I 'AM' the fastest, that much is true,
You have indeed come to the right place,
And YES, I accept this challenge from you
And you will lose in such disgrace."

Everyone stopped what they were doing then
A hush fell over the crowd
I was nervous now, but I KNEW I could win
Then a man stood up and spoke loud

"You crazy man! You can't beat this guy,
There's not a man, nor a beast who can.
Not even the fastest horse money can buy
Can come close to beating this man!"

Well that didn't help my nerves one bit
And as I turned, I looked him straight in the eye.
He intimidated me, I must admit
But I knew I at least had to try.

Garudo Valley is where we begin
From this bridge bilt by theives and hoods,
We race from here, across the field, and then
To the bridge leading to the Lost Woods.

He said, "l'll run on foot, you on your steed
And I'll give you a head start too,
And still I'll win this race, indeed
Ill be waiting at the bridge for you."

"I'll take your head start, and I'll ride my steed
And I"ll wipe that grin off your face.
My horse will outrun you with the greatest of speed
And I assure you, we'll win this race!"

"No one can beat me, that's a fact, my friend
So try me if you dare
You can get to that bridge as fast as the wind
But when you arrive, I'll already be there!"

"Enough of this nonsense, enough I say!
Let's race and then we'll know
I've come to win this race today
So on your mark, get set, let's go!!!!"

I jumped on my horse and away we sped
Over the bridge, down the path we flew
As fast as the wind to the field ahead
I'd take the fastest shortcut I knew

Around Lon Lon Ranch is the quickest way
No fences to jump, no Poe's to attack
So onward we sped, smooth sailing, no delay!
AHHHHHHH!!!! Nothing can hold me back!.

And there in my sight, right straight ahead
Was the entrance to the Lost Wood!
By God, I meant every word I said!
And beat that little bugger, I would!!

I rounded the corner and jumped off my horse
To the bridge I swiftly ran
I'm thinking to myself, I've won of course
I'm the fastest you understand...

But lo and behold what struck my eye
It was HIM, I do declare!
That frickin', frackin' running guy!
All I could do was stop and stare

He sat on the bridge with a smug little smile
and in disbelief, I said, "you're a cheat!"
He replied, "What took you so long? I've been here for awhile.
I told you I can't be beat."

Do you know how angry that little guy made me?
I wanted to cram my fist in his face!
But there was only one thing I could do you see
I had to challenge him to another race.

Of course, he accepted, and we raced again
And the outcome was just the same
But I couldn't give up! I just had to win!
I won't rest till I put him to shame!

So over and over, day after day
I challenged him to a run
And over and over it ends the same way
He's a fast little son of a gun!

Did I ever mention my name, by the way?
I am Link of the Land of Hyrule.
I am the mightiest in all the land, they say
I tell you, I am very cool!

I fought great battles, over land, over sea
I restored order and balance to the land.
I even saved Princess Zelda, who's madlly in love with me
I am Link with my sword in hand!!!!!!!!

No one is greater than me, I tell you,
Why I defeated all evil in this land.
But there's still one thing I cannot do
I can't beat that damn running man!!!